15 minutes back while I was walking back home from an audition, a pandit sitting on the road’s pavement in the Sab TV Lane, Andheri West, called me. He said a few things about me (all the generic nonsense) and said that he wanted to have tea. I gave him 10 bucks. Then he made me sit there and tried behaving like BIG B i.e. Big Baba :D.
“Kya naam hai aur kya karta hai tu”
“Ashish naam hai aur actor hoon”
“Bachcha, tu kisko poojta hai teeno bhagwano mein se.”
“Ahhhh, pata nahin, waise recently Shiv ji ko puja tha kabhi kabhi.”
“Achcha bachcha do paththar utha ke de zameen se”
I started picking up.
“Nahin nahin, chhote waale”
I gave him two. He did something and then threw one of them. He then put the stone in his hand and closed it.
“Bachcha ye le dus rupaye wapas. Main to teri aastha dekh raha tha. Ab ye le wo paththar aur ise apne maathe pe laga ke bol Shiv ji ko ki bada superstar banaye.”
I though let the game begin and did that, then returned the stone.
“Ab ye le bachcha, meri muthi se wo Shiv bhagwan ka paththar. He opened his palms and lo and behold, he had a white ‘misri’ (crytallized sugar lump). “Maano to bhagwan, na maano to paththar. Ise le mooh mein aur chaba ja. Agar toot gaya to 40 din ke andar teri zindagi poori tarah badal jayegi aur bade bade superstar se haath milayega tu.”
Misri had to break. Well, it was yummy as always – bachpan ki yaad aa gayi ma kasam! I thought this guy did not ask for money, that’s great but here was the big one.
“Apne purse se paise nikaal, main use badha dunga.”
I did that, gave it to him but keep looking at it throughout – who the hell wanted 500 bucks to become a bloody misri!
“Tere paas paise ki kami hai, ye 500 tu sambhal ke rakh ek hafte to isse kai guna paisa aayega. Ye le rakh. Baba ko kuch nahin chahiye.”
Wow! Great! How come he doesn’t want money! Took the 500 rupees note and with it there was a small black shivling.
“Ise lal kapde mein baandh kar puja kar. 40 din mein teri kismat badal jayegi. Beta, main kal shirdi ja raha hoon. Kitne kilo ghee tu de sakta hai, tere naam pe chadhaunga.”
“Baba, ghar jakar dekhna padega.”
“Nahin nahin, dukaan se khareedunga”
Kyun, ghar ka ghee kya chanda mama se aata hai. “Kitne ka aata hai ghee?”
“1 Kg 500 rapaye ka. Kitne kilo dega beta?”
“Baba abhi khud karze mein hoon, nahin de paunga. Ye lo 50 rupaye, khana kha lena.”
“Rakh ye paise beta, hum siddh purush hain, paise ki laalsa nahin hai.”
I returned the shiv ling with respect – “Baba ye rakhkhiye aap. Main aapke liye dua karunga. Bye bye.”
When I started walking, then this Baba’s greatness showed – “Bahut pachtayega tu. (waited in vain for me to turn back) Arre 2 kilo ghee ke paise to deta ja. (even more loudly as I generally walk fast) Arre 100 rupaye to deta ja, kuch to de de…..”
Ok, so you see all the drama, get entertained, also have a misri – all for free free free – poor guy did a good sales pitch and turned 10 bucks into 50 but made a mistake of asking for too much thus losing whatever he could have got – moral of the lesson: aukat mein raho aur aukat ke hisab se jo mile use sweekaro! Anyways apart from the drama, now I also have a life changing dramatic deadline of 40 days – 23rd October, 2014 – when my life will change drastically. Jai ‘Misri’ Baba ki, Jai Bholenath! 😀